Cat Nipped

One of the perks of house sitting is that we have a built in animal butler. Her name is Grasminet.

The PG translation of Grasminet is "fat kitty." It's meant in a charmingly playful way (as Grasminet is not fat at all).

Grasminet is 10, which I'm told is middle aged for cats. She performs her duties as cat butler very well--she chases birds and keeps my parents company. She even tans in her spare time. That said, Grasminet has been known to keep the peace against less civilized cats in our area. Which is how she got that awesome scar on her left ear. It's small enough to be hidden for an important photo shoot, but noticeable enough to say, "Yea, I started a fight club."

My mother is allergic to cats, but she also loves animals. Especially ones that communicate. And Grasminet has no qualms with laying down the law. She loudly 'meows' when she wants doors opened, lights turned off, and her burger flipped.

Seriously--she likes to eat the grizzly bits left over on the grill. She's got my dad wrapped around her paw too. That said, she enjoys my mother's habits more (as they're proper and civilized). Shes even taken to drinking chardonnay (though she prefers pinot gritio). 

Also like my mom, she's reading the new Dan Brown novel on her Nook.

She's finding it a little reductive, but now desperately wants to visit Italy. 

I know, I know! I won't spoil the ending. 

One of her most impressive talents--by far--is a knack for drinking water with her paws.

This was something she learned as a cat-in-waiting before fleeing her country estate because of pregnancy. She continues to insist it was immaculate conception but my money's on the farm hand.

Unfortunately, I learned something pretty upsetting today. While taking a post dinner stroll I saw Grasminet in an alley by our house with another cat. They were just sort of staring at each other and purring loudly. I had been falsely convinced that Grasminet was putting her full attention on us, and our needs. I was blinded with rage and confusion as I ran back to our house...

That's why I've started covering the grill.